Frustrations

I can't believe we are in December already. Where does time go? I seem to be sleeping most of the time, or trying to follow some schedule I never really stick to.

I can't work anymore. Actually, that's a good thing, because my temping job is changing owners next year and I don't want to get used to a new unhealthy working environment. The job is market research interviewing for the NSW health department. It can be interesting, and the crew is great, but at the moment I simply can't spend hours in front of the computer screen without being able to rest (meaning lie down) periodically. So, that's good bye to paid work for a while.

Also, if things were going according to plan, I would now be sitting on the beach in Ft Lauderdale or Miami, Florida with my family, hugging and sharing stories with my grandchildren. That is not happening. I am sitting in Sydney, enjoying the daily thunderstorms. Well, actually, I sleep through them.

The good news is that I think the new medication, Megace, is working. However, I am always tired and sometimes have trouble breathing. I read some of the side effects, and it said 'adrenal insufficiency'. I am totally devastated. I asked my doctor to not give me anything that affects the adrenals, because I have a problem there already. He agreed. Now, I discover that he had ignored our agreement. I am devastated. Who can I trust? I already have a long list of complaints for when I see him next week, but now I am just devastated. I have to think this through.

It's several hours later and my treacherous body has gone through a number of hoops. First of all, as I was writing the previous paragraph, I was actually having one of my 'adrenal episodes'. I've had these since 1985 and it always appears in different ways, so I never recognise it until it's over, when I shiver and my teeth are chattering. Then, I am happy that 'it was only an episode', and I get a big burst of energy and some other symptoms that tells me I will be fine. This is what happened today, and by 5:30pm I was ready to meet a friend to have dinner and go to the theatre. It was called 'Stories from the Heart(land), a verbatim play performed by graduating students of the Actors Centre Australia (ACA). It was fantastic. Unfortunately, the first half was over an hour long, and I got too tired to stay. Nevertheless, I made it, and I am ecstatic.

So, it's been a very long day, filled with good and bad, but the good won out, so I go to sleep happy.