Slow days

Sorry, I've been pretty slack with my blog entries lately. That's because nothing was really happening. I  was in pain and had little energy, so I adapted my days to deal with that. I was slow with everything, including the administrative stuff I need to do before I move. It seems overwhelming.

Last month the Professor was away, so I saw his Registrar, who didn't know much about me and didn't really examine me.  Today, it was the man himself. My appointment was at 9am. I had my usual list of grievances: fatigue, pain, runny nose, cough, and various body functions, lethargy, dry skin, etc, etc. He gave me a thorough examination and sent me off for a chest A-Ray. 

Sure enough. I have a rib fracture on the other side from where I had a few before. OK, that explains the pain and pain. So, I went on the internet and came up with this very interesting explanation of a rib fracture. So this explains most of what I thought were side effects of the chemo. Maybe this Caelyx is not as bad as I thought. However, it can damage the bones, which lead to hairline fractures, so maybe it is. Now that I am aware, I am not going to focus on it anymore. Evidently the pain will go away after 6 weeks or so, so I am about half way through or more.

What else has been happening? Well, because of all these cancer treatment related things I have been less active in my social life. I am undable to go to functions at night, or if I do I need a ride and also need to sleep during the day to have enough energy. I can do one or maybe two things in the morning and early afternoon, but mostly I am done for after 2-3pm. For someone who has been as active and as involved in community and the arts as I've been in the past, this seems like purgatory.

For the past couple of months I seem to be on my bed for much of the day, either sleeping or watching TV, movies or play iPad games. For the past two weeks I've been getting bored with all this, so I put it down with getting better. Today's blood test confirmed it.

The liver function is better and the major organs are fine. The cancer markers are not normal, but stable, as they have not changed in the past month. Hooray! We can now make concrete plans for my move to the US and I will have only one more chemo - in May. I love it. I really look forward to playing with my grandson in person. I'll put up with the pain and discomfort.

My personal life has also improved in the past week. On Sunday I went to the Australian Museum to see the National Georgraphic's Wildlife Photographer photographer of the year exhibition. I go every year and this time I was determined to see it also, despite the pain. We rented a wheelchair (for free!) and it was fantastic.

On Monday, my final social justice project in Australia became a reality. We had 70+ people attend our Table Talk at the Jewish Museum to change the conversation about asylum seekers in our community, organised by the NSW Jewish Board of Deputies and the Sydney Alliance. The original idea came from my work with both organisations over a number of years.  It was fabulous and I hope the conversations will continue after I move back to the US.

On Tuesday, my body said: 'go to hell!' and I rested most of the day. Tomorrow we will have the same conversation, but I feel that things are moving in a positive direction, so I'll listen to the old dog and pay attention to its needs. What else can I do, if I want to get well and prove the prognosis wrong?

Taking it in stride

This was a good week. I was feeling well and focused on my writing. I finished the web story on deadline and delivered it Wednesday morning, before the start of THE BIG DAY – my appointment with the Professor.

The Professor looked dapper and suntanned after his sporting holiday in Italy and he had good news for me. My cancer markers are down, which means that the treatment is working. My white blood cells are back to normal, so we can have treatment. And, last but not least, all my various organs, like liver and kidney, are working fine. Phew! It was good to hear. But then, there was a down side.

I am not out of the woods yet and the Professor could not tell me how long I have to have chemo treatment, which has been adjusted to my current status. Instead of a three week cycle, we now have a four week cycle. Two weeks on, two weeks off . This will go on until I leave for a planned, six week vacation with my family in the US in November.  On my return, there will be a reassessment and we shall see.

So, the way I see it, at present my best option is to settle in for the long haul and treat this as a quasi chronic disease and get on with my life. The question that remains is how to do that.

Until now, I had the philosophy of taking one day at a time.  I had incredible emergency help from my family, community and government services. This can't go on forever, so I have to plan to re-enter my normal life and earn some money. My current assignments are a good measure whether I am physically and mentally ready to do that.

So far, so good. Yesterday, the day after the intravenous chemo, I was pretty groggy and, even with my wonderful helper, Shoko, I could only get to my local supermarket for a few groceries. Today, however, I was quite all right. I mean, better. I went for a walk and was still dizzy, and my eyesight has been shoking today, but my head is clear and the dreaded chemobrain is still at bay (I do my brain exercises every morning in the hope that the dreaded fog will never rise this time).

Another thing I started to do is to organise my exercise regimen.  On Monday, I went to the gym and got assessed for gentle strengthening exercises. I am going to see if I can go back this weekend, or latest Monday.

Everything at the moment is trial and error. I don't know what my abilities and limitations are for the two weeks of chemo treatment. That is the next lesson to learn during this particular cycle.

And talking about learning. The only thing that suffered this week was my studies. I have only done about the third of the assignments, if that. Tomorrow I'll focus on catching up and see if I can make up what I've missed so far.  In order to get a certificate, I have to pass a quiz each week. So far I got 80% and 90% for the first two weeks respectively. Now we are getting to the end of the third week and I have two more to go. Let's see what I can do. If I make it, I'll definitely be superwoman! If not, well, I've tried. It's still a triumph in my eyes. What do you think?