Third time lucky?

Welcome to my new blog about my latest attempts to come to terms with living with breast cancer for the rest of my life! And welcome back, if you have shared my original cancer journey that I detail in my first blog: Boobs Blues. Your support then, and today is life sustaining. Thank you!

For the newcomers, let me just quickly explain that I was originally diagnosed with lobular breast cancer in the right breast in Sept 2006. I went through lumpectomy, chemotherapy, radiation treatment and five years of hormone therapy. On my 5th annual checkup, in November 2011, when I expected to be cleared and get on with my life, I was diagnosed with pre-cancer of the invasive lobular type in the left breast. Another lumpectomy and radiation treatment. I refused hormone therapy; after all, it was only pre-cancer and I have had enough of unpleasant side-effects - joint pain, neuropathy in both feet, and some others. My doctors agreed.

One year on, in November 2012, I started experiencing strange symptoms that eventually landed me in hospital emergency on February 2 of this year (2013), with a suspected bleeding ulcer. It was then that it was discovered that I had ascites, or fluid in the abdomen. After two weeks of head scratching, the doctors in that hospital let me go and referred me back to my cancer team at the Sydney Cancer Centre.

I have to admit that I love my cancer team. I think they are the best. However, it also took them a while to confirm the cause of the ascites - lobular breast cancer cells lurking in the abdominal lining - and start appropriate chemotherapy treatment.

The way I understand it, these old cancer cells that survived two lots of treatment, are now looking for a home in one or more of my lovely, healthy major organs. With the current chemotherapy the cells can be zapped, the ascites resolved and I can go back to my life, albeit with the knowledge that the cancer may recur again, and again.

Last year, my radiation oncologist, Dr JT, told me: 'I now think of cancer as a chronic disease.' I found this description comforting, because I do have a chronic condition that I have learned to live with since 1985, so I reckoned I can learn to live with this too.

Now, I am not so sure. So far, this has been the worst nightmare experience of my cancer journey. I spent two weeks in hospital, lost a lot of weight, and am now as weak as a baby learning to walk. On the bright side, I did go to the shops today and, with help, I got my groceries, rather than order them on line.